Romantic outerlude

It was a beautiful evening. The couple leaning on the railing above the sea looked out into the infinity of the waves, and seemed to frame a postcard memory as the gulls cawed overhead. The man leaned towards the woman, and gently cupping her buttocks drew her towards him. I had a perfect bead on the man’s head, but I thought it would be funnier to shoot him in the neck.
They began to kiss. I was touched deeply, but anyway I squeezed the trigger and from my vantage point on the roof of the pier I watched the man’s body jerk in sudden shock as his neck was ripped open and blood shot front and back. The woman ignored the red mist and continued exploring her partner’s mouth with her own. Admirable stuff.
The man was spasming a bit, but managed to control his motion sufficiently as to be able to continue pleasuring her. I noticed that he was wearing a gold band on his right hand. I couldn’t remember if that was the right hand/ finger combination to symbolise marriage, but I was willing to guess that it probably was. Either that or they were a very familiar couple of cheats, enjoying a romantic seaside assassination scene.
Suddenly, but not altogether unexpectedly, a name-brand digging vehicle roared at impressively high speed up the wooden walkway. The woman stopped kissing her (possible) husband and let go of his hand. He immediately slumped to the planks, hitting his head on the metal railing on the way down with a clank I could hear from up on the roof. I laughed. Times like these I wished I had had a camcorder. Still, it’s not very professional.
The digger was fast approaching. The woman gave her husband a mighty kick, cracking his ribcage and sending his body battering across the boardwalk into the path of the speeding digger. The digger banged into him and was lifted twenty feet into the air as his body crunched and flopped on the rattling planks.
The woman darted to one side, rolled, and spreading her legs in an amazingly gymnastic fashion, let loose an arc of green piss through the open side of the digger’s cab. The jet was clearly incredibly high-velocity; it knocked the driver out of the other side of the cab and threw him right over the railing into the waves on the other side. The woman clamped her piss-flow, flipped to her feet and trotted over to the body of her man, lying in an awkward heap a few metres away. He had thick tyre marks all over his jacket and face, and was clearly dead. She picked him up and hurled him into the sun, where he caused a massive nuclear reaction because he was made of several radioactive isotopes and his skin was an almost impenetrable heat-shield but his eyes didn’t have skin on so the heat burst out of them and the resultant solar-quake burned everyone on Earth to little burned cakes and I ate them all.